Proper Parental Roles or How to Best Support my Son and the Team

a.         Parent Roles: Parents have three roles on this team. They are very important to understand. We will have training meetings to discuss these. They are as follows:

i.          Role #1: Be committed to reaching excellence and success by supporting and allowing your child to adhere to the principles taught in this program.

ii.         Role #2: Provide love and support to your child and team-includes coaching staff.

    (1)       No performance strings attached.

    (2)       Be your child’s and the team’s best fan.

iii.        Role #3: Non-Role-Don’t Coach:  This is an extremely important role. It is not a parent’s job to coach.

    (1)       This non-role is just as important as the prior two roles.  Success cannot be achieved without it.

    (2)       A parent should not coach – period. No Monday morning quarterbacking. No ride home post game advice. Simply praise and food. Let us coach.

    (3)       A parent should not backseat the coach.

    (4)       No power struggles with the coach.

    (5)       Parental Coaching is defined as follows:

            (a)       Organizing at-home cross training sessions;

            (b)       Pre-match talks focusing on mechanics, technique, strategy or performance goals;

            (c)        Holding goal setting sessions with your child and “helping” him determine “his” goals, without approval and input from the coach;

            (d)       During-competition instructions and critiques;

            (e)        After competition evaluations, criticism and parent instigated conversations about the performance, especially when the child has absolutely no interest in these discussions;

            (f)        Critiquing your child’s practices;

            (g)        Coaching during practices or games;

            (h)       Filming your child and having “video sessions,” unless approved by the coach and your athlete wants you to;

            (i)        Timing your child at practices or in other ways keeping statistical info on your child’s efforts, unless solicited by the child and approved by the coach;
      *If there is a parent who wants to be more involved and help his/her child on some of the things mentioned above, just work with the coach and together the coach can work with you to guide the development of your athlete so you can be more involved. You and the coach can come up with a plan of action together and involve you in a meaningful and consistent way.

    (6)       Why? By clearly spelling out what parental behaviors constitute “coaching,” we hope that you now understand that this conduct crosses a line and intrudes on our roles as coaches for the team. The first stage of this argument is based on the idea that it is, at best, extremely difficult to coach your own child. By the very nature of the parent-child relationship, your son or daughter sees you as mom or dad, not as coach. As a consequence, most “normal” children have a very difficult time taking instruction from a parent about the sport. They respond with defensiveness, oppositional behavior and anger.

    (7)       The second stage of this argument is based on the timing of the parent’s instructions. The fact of the matter is that most parents don’t have a clue as to the disruptive effect their pre-game or during game instructions have on their child. The coaching that these parents engage in, regardless of how technically accurate it may be, is way off base, timing-wise. Most athletes CANNOT constructively use pre-game or during game information from their parents. This information is distracting at best and gets the athlete thinking too much, Thinking takes the athlete completely out of the performance and sets them up to make mistakes. Besides, it distracts their focus from the game and the team game plan the coach has given to them.

    (8)       Last minute parental instructions invariably tighten the athlete up. Since it is impossible to perform your best when you’re physically tight, the athlete’s performance quickly goes “south.” 
  
iv.  Parent Training:  The coaching staff may schedule a few meetings throughout the year.  We would strongly encourage you to attend these training meetings.  We will discuss the proper role of “the parent” on this team. Most parental – coach – player issues come from a misunderstanding of the roles of parent, coach, and athlete.  When properly understood these issues can be substantially minimized. Parental training is essential for this team to have success.  No parent is immune from the need to attend these meetings.

v.  Open Door Policy:  The coach will see parents and athletes at his office when an appointment has been made.

    (1) 24 Hour Rule:  I understand the coaches “24 Hour Rule,” which is that the coaching staff does not talk to parents, entertain feedback, or hold meetings for 24-hours after a game.  I understand that if I have a concern, I will set an appointment to discuss the issue with Coach Dümmar.  I agree that I will meet with Coach Dümmar to resolve concerns as soon as possible, excluding game day.

    (2) No Field/Practice Rule:  I understand and agree that I will not approach the coach to discuss a concern at the field location directly before, during, or directly after practice.  If I have a concern, I will set an appointment with the coach to meet with him at his office.

    (3) Student-Athlete Must Attend. I understand that my child must be physically present and be an active participant in any appointment with the coach.

vi. Parent Commitment:

    (1) I agree to support my child, the coaching staff, and this program by abiding by my parental role(s) as set forth above.

    (2) I understand that my attitude, support, and behavior towards the coach and team affects my athlete, the team, and the coaching staff and I agree to support this program and my child’s commitment to the program taught in the MHS pyramid of success.

    (3) I will not engage in criticism of any coach or any of the players in front of any of the student athletes (players), including my own child.

     (4) I understand that only team members or official personnel are invited to be in the team area and that no other persons, including parents or friends, are allowed to frequent or sit in the player area unless they are on the official roster and are invited to do so by the coaching staff.   I understand that violation of this rule will result in a penalty for the entire team from the referees (yellow card).